FLYIN’ WEST BACKSTAGE GUIDE 17 You might be experiencing domestic violence if you're in a relationship with someone who:  Calls you names, insults you or puts you down  Prevents or discourages you from going to work or school or seeing family members or friends  Tries to control how you spend money, where you go, what medicines you take, or what you wear  Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful  Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs  Threatens you with violence or a weapon  Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, choke, or otherwise hurts you, your children, or your pets  Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will HOW TO RECOGNIZE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS Domestic violence is a serious threat for many. Know the signs of an abusive relationship and how to leave a dangerous situation. Remember: it might not be easy to identify abuse at first, as it often starts subtly and gets worse over time. If you're transgender or in a same-sex relationship, you might also be experiencing domestic violence if you're in a relationship with someone who:  Threatens to tell friends, family, colleagues, or community members your sexual orientation or gender identity  Tells you that authorities won't help a LGBT person  Tells you that leaving the relationship means you're admitting that LGBT relationships are deviant  Justifies abuse by telling you that you're not "really" lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender Don't take the blame You may not be ready to seek help because you believe you're partially to blame for one of the following reasons:  Your partner blames you for the violence in your relationship. Abusers rarely take responsibility for their actions.  Your partner only exhibits abusive behavior with you. Abusers are often concerned with outward appearances, and may appear charming and stable to those outside of your relationship.  You have acted out verbally or physically against your abuser during conflicts. You may worry that this makes you abusive, but it's much more likely that you acted in self-defense or intense emotional distress. If you're having trouble identifying what's happening, take a step back and look at larger patterns in your relationship. Where to find help In an emergency, call 911 or your local emergency number. The following resources also can help:  Someone you trust. Turn to a friend, loved one, neighbor, co-worker, or religious advisor for support.  National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (800-799-7233). Call the hotline for crisis intervention and referrals to resources, such as women's shelters.  Your health care provider. Doctors and nurses will treat injuries and can refer you to safe housing and other local resources.  A local women's shelter or crisis center. Shelters and crisis centers typically provide 24-hour emergency shelter, as well as advice on legal matters and advocacy and support services.  A counseling or mental health center. Counseling and support groups for women in abusive relationships are available in most communities.  A local court. Your district court can help you obtain a restraining order that legally mandates the abuser to stay away from you or face arrest. Local advocates might be available to help guide you through the process. It can be hard to recognize or admit that you're in an abusive relationship — but help is available. Remember, no one deserves to be abused. (edited from MayoClinic.org)